Wobbling ‘Dad’s army’ invades Northern Ireland

Picture the Dad’s Army scene as Captain Mainwaring addresses his mainly past their ‘sell-by’ date squad, writes Ted Bemand.

They should have been looking over a beautiful patchwork of green fields…

“Right, men,” he says. “I’ve got an idea. Instead of waiting for the invasion, we need to practise one ourselves, on our autocycles.”

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(The Home Guard doesn’t run to 16H Nortons).

“Where?” asks Sergeant Wilson.

“Not Scotland,” interrupts Private Godfrey. “My knees are not up to those mountains.”

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